Bad Day (open)

Crutches. Not only that, crutches and casts. This was what Emily had to look forward to for the next...she didn't even know how long. Even once her shattered leg bones had healed, there was still the matter of the hideous scar she was sure would be with her for the rest of her life. She'd been looking forwards to being able to wear proper women's swimming clothes after her surgery, but now? How was she going to wear a bikini with a huge and hideous bullet scar on her leg? How was she going to wear anything that wasn't jeans or boots? Even if her leg ended up healing properly so she wasn't left with a limp for the rest of her life, and she had no idea how likely that was going to be, the damage that terminally stupid security guard had done was going to be with her for the rest of her life. She'd never be happy with herself now, not without some pretty major skin grafts anyway. She'd try to talk Doctor Bjorgen into helping her to get them to help the healing process along, but she doubted that would work somehow.

The clink of crutches on pavement was already the sound Emily most hated, and every step she took only made things worse. She couldn't walk without them, she knew that, but that didn't mean she had to enjoy it. All she could do as she clinked her way towards the gardens was to hope that June was going to suffer far, far more than she was right now. That was a horrible thing to want, and she knew it, but June didn't have to suffer though everything she was right now. not only the physical side of things either. Emmy was spiralling into depression, and she knew it, but she didn't want to talk to anyone about it; not even Ace. She might talk about things to Bjorgen, but right now she didn't even know if he was even on the island. He'd taken the second bullet for her, how could she ever repay that?

Hanging her head, she made her way over to a bench, one she could reach without leaving the path, and settled down onto it. She hated this, on crutches she couldn't go anywhere, she was going to miss the whole of summer now. It might seem like a minor grievance, compared to the potentially life changing injury she'd suffered, but it was filling her mind right now and she didn't even know why. Crippled like this, what the hell was she going to do with herself for the next six months? putting her head into her hands and resting her elbows on her bare knees, the skirt she wore today was one of several she'd picked up to wear with her hideous cast, and just wept. Her life was ruined, before it had even really started, and for what? A ten minute curfew violation? How was that fair?

Mariah was feeling as cheerful as always that day, if not more than usual. She had learned over the past month that she really liked Green Ridge better than she had liked Hadley. She didn't know why, but she'd never felt very safe in New York. Here she felt perfectly secure...as long as she didn't go out by herself, or at least not off the grounds. She still couldn't forget the abject terror she had felt as she realized she was lost in the woods, and alone, with night coming on. Well, she had taken precautions to prevent that happening again. For one thing, she never set foot out the gates of St. Christina's by herself, and she made sure of an hour's cushion when she headed back home. And, of course, she kept an arm around Celeste at all times. Ford Prefect always knew where his towel was; Mr. Tulip knew he would be okay as long as he had his potato; Mariah Rose had her elephant.

She decided that day not to go out of the grounds. Today was a day for staying home. But she did want to get outside, maybe read for a bit, and prepared herself accordingly. She put a couple of apples from the dining hall in her pockets, grabbed the copy of Little Women she had started reading the night before and was about five chapters into, laced into her Timberland work boots, and headed out onto the garden path. There was a tree she had her mind's eye on--a broad-beamed, leafy oak with a good, solid trunk. She could climb into it easily--she'd always been good at climbing trees--and sit with her back to the trunk, read her book, eat her apples, and just generally enjoy the beautiful day.

Humming to herself, she approached the spot she had chosen when she heard a sound she knew very well--the sound of someone crying. She quickened her pace and rounded the bend to find a girl she vaguely recognized. The girl's leg was trapped in a cast, and a pair of crutches were leaning against the bench next to her. She had her face buried in her hands and was weeping. Mariah's heart tightened with pity. Not knowing why the other girl was crying, or what was going on, she nevertheless wanted to make it better, as best as she could.

She moved towards the bench and looked at the girl, her brown eyes wide with sympathy. "What's wrong?" she said softly. "Is there anything I can do?" Without thinking too much about it, she sat down on the bench next to the other girl. "If you don't want to tell me, I understand, but it always helps me to talk about things that are making me unhappy."

Emily wasn't sure if she wanted anyone to see her like this, or if she even cared. Her life was ruined, what did it even matter if someone saw her like this? They were bound to eventually, there was no getting away from what had been done to her, and though she knew that, she wasn't sure if she was even capable of talking about it yet. How could she? How could she explain how bad she felt to anyone, especially a stranger? Then again, maybe it would be easier to talk to someone she didn't know than to Ace or Bjorgen? They knew what she was like before it happened, they'd want her to be that girl again, and she didn't know if she could.

She didn't react as the other girl sat down beside her, too wrapped up in her own thoughts to even notice she had company until Mariah spoke to her. "What do you think is wrong?" she sobbed, shoving her crutches to the ground. She wasn't thinking straight right now, that much was obvious, without those she wasn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon. "There's nothing you can do, unless you have a time machine." she added, putting her head back in her hands. Time travel, wouldn't that make everythign simpler? She could go back and give June's parents some contraceptives, what could be simpler?

Sobbing again, she leaned over, placing her head against the stranger's arm. "Sorry, I just..." she mumbled, sobbing again. "I don't want to talk about it, I just..." she continued, breaking off as she sobbed again. "My life is ruined, and I didn't even do anything to deserve it. What am I supposed to do?" she sobbed again, eyes closed. "I'm sorry." she repeated, sitting up a little and pulling a tissue out of her pocket, wiping her eyes with it, glad she hadn't bothered with makeup today. "I'm sorry, I just...I...I don't know what I'm supposed to do." she continued, struggling to contain an fresh wave of sobs. She didn't even need to be in this place, and now it had destroyed her world.

Mariah was painfully naive and sheltered--largely, she would be the first to admit, by choice. She had heard about the murderer who was at large on the island, but not that a fellow St. Christina's patient had been shot not long afterwards by a trigger-happy security guard who took sadistic pleasure in torturing helpless girls. If she had, she would definitely not have been in the woods when Hazel found her there. She only knew that this girl to whom she was now speaking was on crutches. The whys and wherefores escaped her. To all appearances, she had hurt her leg. That was all Mariah knew--that, and that she was crying.

She was momentarily startled when the other girl sent her crutches crashing to the ground, but she tried to stay calm and answered her in a soft, gentle voice. "I don't have a time machine, I'm sorry. I wish I did." She looked up at the girl with innocent brown eyes. "I would say 'time heals all wounds' but I know there's not a lot of comfort in that. Maybe if it could be said that time wounded all heels..." That particular line in Belles On Their Toes had made her giggle uncontrollably the first time she had read it, and she hoped it would at the very least bring a smile to her new friend's face. Mariah had never met a stranger and even more rarely met an enemy. Everyone was her friend until proven otherwise (witness Niamh), so she considered this girl a friend even though she didn't yet know her name.

The girl broke down into sobs, apologizing over and over again, and Mariah felt tears beginning to well up in her own eyes out of sympathy. "I'm sorry, too," she said softly. "I wish I knew what I could do to help you." She looked down at the stuffed elephant in her arms, then hesitantly held it out to the other girl. "Would--would you like to hold Celeste? Dr. Wynn gave her to me for a Christmas present. There's a lot of love in her, and sometimes hugging something with a lot of love in it can make things better."

She would have offered a hug herself, but while she would have accepted a hug in this situation she didn't know if the other girl would. Instead, she just sat silently watching the other girl, holding out the oversized stuffed elephant as though it were a talisman that could mend anything that may have been broken.

The line wasn't enough to bring a smile to Emily's face, it barely got a response from the crying girl. She was much too wrapped up in her own misery for a quote like that to have too much of an affect on her, especially when it was from a movie she'd never seen. Still, as it turned out, sitting with a sympathetic stranger wasn't as bad as she'd thought it would be, even if she couldn't yet stop herself from crying. At least there was no need to worry about Mariah trying to turn her back into the cheery person she'd once been, the person she was sure had died in the park that day. How could she smile and laugh with injuries and scars like these? She hadn't even seen the scars yet, not with the cast in the way, but she was certain they'd be horrendous. The bullet had gone right through, how could they be anything else?

Her tears did slow as the girl spoke again though, and slowly, Emily raised her head to look at her and the elephant. Nodding, she reached for Celeste, her hands shaking, and hugged her tightly, trying not to get too many tears onto the stuffed animal. It was ridiculous, some part of her knew that, but she didn't care. She didn't want to be this depressed, she hadn't wanted any of this to happen, and slowly, she leaned towards the other girl, releasing Celeste and slipping her arms around Mariah herself instead, assuming from the girl's kindness so far that she'd be fine with something like this. Who'd have thought that she could make a friend while she was in a state like this?

"I.." she mumbled, another sob shaking her body, though this one was much, much smaller than the hysterics that had overtaken her just a few minutes ago. "Thank you." she mumbled, releasing Mariah and slowly sitting back up, keeping Celeste in her lap, looking down at the elephant and trying to control her tears. "I'm Emily." she continued, her voice still quiet. She'd met a nice person, someone who really seemed to care about her, and she still couldn't stop herself from crying, not completely anyway. How the hell was she going to handle Ace or Doctor Bjorgen? She didn't think she could even look at her boyfriend right now, and she wouldn't be surprised if her therapist bumped her up to ward A for fear she'd do something to herself over all this. Closing her eyes, she hugged the elephant again, just wishing none of this had ever happened.

Mariah smiled a little as the other girl took her offer of Celeste and hugged the stuffed elephant tightly. Some might say that fifteen, even just-barely-fifteen, was too old for a security blanket, but then again fifteen, even just-barely-fifteen, was probably too old for a number of the childlike insecurities Mariah had. What she had gone through as a child would have made some people grow up too quickly, would have made her a thirty-year-old woman at the age of ten, but instead Mariah was perpetually caught in the innocence of childhood. It was the only way she knew, subconsciously, to protect herself from the hurt that had happened to her. She was slowly growing up under Nell's loving wing and Dr. Wynn's patient tutelage, but it wasn't going to happen overnight. And right now, the only way she knew of to cheer someone up who was hurting was to let them hug her stuffed animal.

It seemed to be working. The other girl slowly let go of the elephant and hugged Mariah instead. Mariah returned the hug as gently as she could. She wasn't really used to being the comforter, the protector, but by imitating what she had seen Nell or Hazel or Roscoe do on occasion, she hoped she would maybe be able to help, at least a little. She knew what comforted her, so she assumed it would help comfort the other girl as well.

"You're welcome," she replied as the other girl sat back up. Raising her brown eyes to the other girl's hazel ones, she smiled warmly. "That's what friends are for." It never occurred to her that putting it that way might be awkward; she assumed they were already friends, even though they didn't know each other's names yet. That was just how Mariah worked.

"I'm Emily."

Mariah smiled again. "It's nice to meet you, Emily. I'm Mariah." Tilting her head back, she studied Emily for a moment. "You were at Hadley, right? I think I remember seeing you on one of the buses when we left Louisiana. I wasn't there for too long before we moved to Phoenicia and I was still trying to get my feet under me, but I'm pretty sure I remember you." Funny. It had been a while since she had thought about Louisiana. And yet it had only been a year since she had arrived, on the eve of a blackout and a riot, while the campus was still on lockdown. She'd only been there a couple of months--summer was barely over when the hurricane had struck, and they had been in Phoenicia by early October. Most of her memories of Louisiana involved confusion and fear, and she tended not to think about it too much.