Ronin Gates

Please use blue or black ink when filling out this admission form. Additional information from all but the patient must be initialled by the author. Please answer all questions to the best of your ability. For further information or guidance, please contact a member of St. Christina staff at the number provided
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Patient Full Name: GATES, RONIN

Age: 16
DOB: 08/05/1994
Gender: Male
Address: 2723 Cruickshank Road
City: Phoenicia
State: NY
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 145 lbs
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Blond
Distinguishing Marks: I have a long, thin, fading scar across my neck, a souvenir of the night my mother almost killed me. I also have a few scars on my chest and thighs from various partners - cigarette burns, lacerations, that sort of thing. I play rough.


Medical History:

Please list any and all allergies and age of onset below:
N/A.

Are you aware of any ongoing medical issues?:
No.

If yes, list age of diagnoses by medical professionals, or age of onset below:
N/A.

If you are receiving treatment for an ongoing medical complaint, please list prescriptions, strength of dose, frequency of dose, and other treatment plans below:
N/A.

Do you smoke tobacco, consume alcohol, or use street drugs? If yes, please list number of packs per day, number of drinks per day and/or names of consumed drugs below:
No. I mean, I used to smoke up to a pack a day and drink occasionally when I was still living at home and going to parties and shit, but I haven't done any of that since I got to Hadley.



Psychiatric History:

Have you been diagnosed with any psychiatric issues? If so, please list diagnoses and age of diagnoses below:
I was diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Autassassinophilia at age 14. Here's the story:

My dad died of prostate cancer when I was 10. That's how it all began. Something happened to my mom after that. I guess she went crazy with grief or something, because she started sexually abusing me shortly after my dad died. It was disgusting, and I knew it was wrong, but there was still some dark, fucked up part of me that liked it. Grandma came to live with us when dad when into hospice, and mom started coming into my room at night a couple of weeks after he passed away. She'd hold a knife to my throat to make sure I didn't scream or cry for help while she raped me. Because that's what she did. No use softening it up with pretty, sensitive words. The first time it happened, I woke up to her standing over me with the point of a butcher knife at my throat. I'm not sure she knew what she was doing. She didn't look all there, if you know what I mean. She hiked up her nightgown, made me pull my boxers down, and climbed on top of me. I was only 11, so I didn't know exactly what was happening, but I knew I'd better do what she said since she had a knife. I wasn't a stupid kid. Anyway, I can't tell you exactly why she did it. Maybe she missed my dad and didn't know how else to cope. She always used to tell me how much I looked like him. Anyway, I know I'm all sorts of screwed up because, after the first few times, I got aroused whenever she came to me. I was always a little scared...but I was also kind of excited too. I almost looked forward to it, which is why I never told anyone about it. I wasn't sure I wanted it to stop, even though I wasn't 100% comfortable with it.

I was hospitalized for a period of two weeks after the last time my mother raped me. I was 14, and she almost killed me that time. My grandma walked in on us in the middle of it. Mom had the knife to my throat, as always. Poor granny almost had a heart attack, and mom was so startled that the knife slipped and cut my throat open. When grandma got over the shock, she called 911. The cops came for my mom, and an ambulance for me. The cut turned out to be pretty shallow, but there was so much blood everyone assumed the worst and wasn't willing to take any chances with me. Later that night, once I was on the mend in the hospital, some cops and psychiatrists came to question me about what had happened earlier in the evening. I didn't think they'd believe me when I said my mother had been raping me for the past three years, but they ran all the necessary tests and they came back positive, I guess. They never acted skeptical or anything, but they had to be sure. That night was the last time I saw my mom.

After that, I continued to live with my grandma until Hadley found me. She wasn't hard to slip past at night, so once she was asleep I'd sneak out of the house and go seeking the same sort of thrills my mother used to give me. It makes me sick to write that, but it's true. I like to put myself in dangerous situations. It's the only way I can get off. It's the only way I feel alive. I've never felt as alive as I did that first night. When I woke up and saw the knife in my mom's hand, I honestly thought I was going to die, and I realized that I feel the most alive when I'm in danger of dying - or when I think I am, anyway. Al, old therapist, said t hat some kids my age respond to rape by becoming sexual vegetables, completely shutting down...I can't remember the way he worded it exactly, but god knows I didn't turn out that way. I'm promiscuous and I purposely put myself in dangerous situations for the sexual thrill of it, even when it doesn't involve actually having sex.

If you answered yes to the above, please list any and all prescriptions, including dosage and frequency of dosage, and other treatment plans below:
After I was released from the hospital, I started seeing Dr. Al DeMarco, who diagnosed me and put me on Zoloft in the hopes of helping regulate my moods. He started me off on 25 mg. By the time I got the application from Hadley I was taking 50 mg daily. I took it from age 14 to 16, until I left for the Institute.

If you answered yes to the above, please describe noted feelings, symptoms, triggers and incidents associated with the diagnoses, and ages of incidents below:
When I was released from the hospital, the doctors recommended Al to help me "move past my trauma", but I didn't think it was necessary. I guess I still don't. I never saw the point in seeing a shrink. Yeah, I realize that what happened to me isn't normal, but I don't think there's any fixing it. Besides, I kind of like the way I am. Sometimes I hate it, but it's all I know. I'm sick in the head and I've come to terms with it. I just want to be left alone to seek my own thrills and get my rocks off.

The IED diagnosis came after Al reviewed my school records our first few times seeing each other. It's true that I've always had a tendency to get in fights, even before my dad died. I experience random fits of rage that seemingly come out of nowhere, which has honestly been a trend for as long as I can remember. I used to throw epic tantrums as a kid, even when there was no reason for it. When he diagnosed me with PTSD and autassassinophilia, he said the latter was likely a result of the former. Apparently the long and short of it is that I'm a danger to myself and to others, and yet...I'm not crazy. I'm the victim here. At least that's what Al liked to say. If he was right, I would have never been punished for something that wasn't my fault by being sent to Hadley. That never made any sense to me.

Have you ever been hospitalised for these diagnoses? If yes, please provide facility name(s) and age of admissions and discharges:
Hadley Institute for Troubled Youth. Admitted October 2010 at age 16.

Are you aware of a history of psychiatric complaints in your family? If yes, please list family member(s), diagnoses, and how this affected you personally:
Who knows with my mother. She's probably got something, but I really don't care what she does or doesn't have. I just don't want to talk about her anymore. Crazy bitch. She's the reason why I'm filling this out right now, why I'm here at all, and hell yes, I resent it. I hope she rots in prison. I hope someone violates her with a rusty pipe until her insides fall out.



Environmental History:

Are you aware of any complications during your birth? If yes, please explain below:
No.

Are you aware of any difficulties in development during your infancy, such as learning disabilities, speech impediments, etc? If yes, please explain below:
I did everything on time, but I was told I scowled more than I smiled. Apparently I was a rather moody baby. Surprise, surprise.

Are you aware of any long term separation from your mother during your infancy? If yes, please explain below:
No. I probably would have turned out better if I had been separated from her.

Please describe the location and environment in which you grew up. Please list town and state, and what it was like and how this affected you:
I grew up in Detroit, Michigan. Not a fan of the place. I lived with my mom and dad in one of the shoddier areas of town - one step up from the ghetto, pretty much. Surprisingly, my childhood was decent enough. My parents had a good relationship, and I had a good relationship with them. We were a postcard-perfect family without the luxury of a pretty middle-class backdrop. When dad got sick, life at home changed. Mom started drinking, and she and dad both turned into shells of the people they used to be. Once dad went into hospice, grandma moved in to stay home with me, because mom refused to leave his side. It was a nerve-wracking time for all of us. I'd get home from school and grandma and I would basically just sat around waiting for the call to come.

Please describe your educational history. How were you in school, both as a young child and in later grades? How were your grades? Did you enjoy school? Please answer below:
Like I said, I've always gotten into fights. Seems I've always had a thirst for violence in my veins, long before my mom brought it to the surface. In school, I was always being sent to the time-out corner or the principal's office or being made to stay after school for detention. My parents were very patient with my outbursts. I don't know where my explosive temper comes from, but I can't remember ever not having it. I mean, I don't always walk around on edge, but I know that anything can set me off at any moment. Anything, anytime, anywhere. Could be a bird chirping, could be someone looking at me funny. I never know when it's gonna hit. And the danger of not knowing is exciting. I never know what's going to happen or what kind of situation I'm going to get myself into next. The suspense gives me something to live for. I may be fucked up, but at least it makes me feel good, right? At least I'm not trying to off myself. The kind of things that get me off might make it seem like I have a death wish, but I really don't. Danger makes me feel alive like nothing else can, and that's what it's really all about. Not dying, feeling alive. Everyone's concerned that I'm going to get myself killed someday, but if I do, so be it. I'm sure it'll be worth it. I've had a taste of danger and I want more.

Anyway, I've always hated school. I can't stand kids my own age and I've never been a star student. I'm a fucked-up kid from the slums of Detroit. It's not like I'm going to go to college and become a doctor or lawyer or something. That's not in the cards for me. I'm never going to amount to much of anything, so why bother trying? Might as well go after what I want now, while I'm young and can appreciate and enjoy it. The now is all I really have.

My grades have not improved much since coming to Hadley. I honestly don't see the point in trying. I've never been good at this stuff, even when I did try, and that's not going to change. I'm not a brilliant kid. I've got street smarts, sure, but book smarts? Definitely not.

Do/did you have many friends growing up? Do/did you have a best friend? If yes, please explain below:
After everything happened and I started acting out, I met this kid named Jack, and we ran together quite a bit. We did everything together. He was the closest thing to a best friend I ever had. I met some other people at parties, but I was never really interested in them, only in what they could do for me. I generally only use people as a means to an end. If they can't benefit me in some way, I don't bother with them. I did make friends with a girl named Pandora at Hadley, but the terms "friends" is a loose one. We were just using each other. She left before we could wreak too much havoc together.

Do/did you pursue any extra curricular activities or talents? If yes, please explain below:
Ha, no. I'm not a nerd, jock, kiss-ass, or some pretentious artsy-fartsy hipster looking for something to boast about on their college resume. I was always getting in too much trouble for that stuff. I chose to indulge in more pleasurable pursuits.

If sexually active, please list age of onset and sexual preference below. If not sexually active, are you aware of a sexual preference?:
I like women, but I prefer older women to girls my own age. I started noticing that girls were pretty at around age 10, but I never thought of them in a sexual way up until my mom started abusing me. Let's just say I was a quick learner.

I prefer guys to girls, honestly. Guys are usually more willing to enact the kinds of fantasies I have. They know what I want better than most girls do. Most people think I'm a freak, but the guys embrace it more readily than the girls, bless their kinky little hearts. Also, there's something about being with a guy that makes me feel more powerful, more in control.



Legal History:

Do/did you ever abuse controlled substances, including but not limited to prescription medications, street drugs or alcohol? If yes, please explain below:
I've been drunk, but I've never done drugs. I was never interested in them. Drugs can't give me the kind of high I need.

Have you ever been convicted of a crime? If yes, please list conviction, age of conviction and circumstances below:
The cops were called into my old school quite a few times to help break up some of the fights I've started, all between the ages of 12 and 15. All charges against me were inevitably dropped, but I was on almost constant academic probation as a result. I never could seem to stay out of trouble. Eventually it got to the point where they told me if that I got into one more fight, I'd be expelled. Then Hadley's packet came. Fucking eerie timing. I've also been in trouble for trespassing and truancy. On top of everything else at school, I don't have the greatest attendance record.

If you answered yes to the above, please list sentences connected to these convictions below:
Just academic probation. I was on it more often than not, so I couldn't give you exact dates.

Have you ever knowingly committed a crime for which you were not convicted or sentenced? If yes, please explain below:
Yeah, like I've said, I've done some drinking.



Personal Interview:

Describe yourself to the best of your ability in only five words:
Cynical, jaded, detached, bitter, apathetic.

Is the glass half empty, or half full? Explain your answer below:
There's a glass? Come on, life isn't a glass or a box of chocolates. Here's a question for you: what do the contents of the glass look like? Isn't that more important? Because the contents of mine are murky and polluted. It doesn't matter how full the glass is, because that shit's gonna kill me either way.

If you could change only one thing in your life, what would it be, and why?:
If I could change one thing, it would be for everyone to leave me alone. Either that or the mother I was born to. But I can't change that, can I? So I've got to deal with it. I've got to deal what I've become, and I've got to live with it the best I can, because this dark thing inside of me isn't going anywhere. Nothing's going to help.

How do you feel about your life and the things you have done in it, looking back? If you have committed crimes, how do you feel about those now?:
I don't think I've ever had much of a choice in what I've done. I feel like I was robbed of my life and my youth. My acts of defiance have been attempts to get it back, to regain some kind of control over my life, a control I never really had. I'm done with this question. It's messing with my head.

What are your goals in life, and how do you feel those would be best accomplished?:
I just want to be free. That sounds really cheesy, but it's the only nice way to put it. In not-so-nice terms, I just want to be left the fuck alone. I want to live my own life!

Lastly, why have you chosen admission at St. Christina Psychiatric Rehabilitation Center, and how do you think this will help you toward your life goals?:
I didn't. I didn't choose any of this.



Patient/Guardian Signature:

By agreeing to admission to our facilities, you hereby agree to abide by all rules and terms of service outlined in patient or resident handbooks, rules and codes of conduct. You hereby agree to waive your right to voluntary dismissal from our facilities until such a time as facility administrators sign paperwork for your release. You hereby agree to comply with facility staff recommendations, demands, or outlines for treatment. You hereby waive your right to informed medical consent before medication changes or medical procedures. You hereby agree to waive your right to hold GR Biotech and its Subsidiaries responsible for any personal harm or distress incurred during treatment. GR Biotech and its Subsidiaries reserve the right to add or amend these terms of service at any time.

Please sign and date below:

Ronin Gates 05/17/2011

Welcome to St. Christina's Psychiatric Rehabilitation Center. Your ward and room assignments can be found below, along with the name of your primary therapist. Please familiarise yourself with all patient handbooks and codes of conduct.

Building: Robertson Building
Ward: B
Room: 1
Bed: 3
Primary Therapist: Dr. __________

OOC Information: All information below this line is not known by the patient, but is available on the patient's file, viewable only by staff.

Study Group(s):

Primary:Sexual Degeneracy
Psychiatric Issues
Antisocial Behaviours

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Code:

[center][font=garamond][size=22][color=#555555][b] -File Note- [/b][/color][/size][/font]

    _____________________________________________________________[/center]

    [b]Patient Name:[/b] Gates, Ronin
    [b]Primary Study Group:[/b] Sexual Degeneracy
    [b]Primary Therapist:[/b] Dr. ___________
    [b]Building:[/b] Robertson
    [b]Ward:[/b] B

    [center]_____________________________________________________________[/center]

    [b]Note Subject:[/b] (Therapy Report, Medication Change, Dormitory Reassignment, Medical Report, Behavioural Report, Progress Report, Procedure Report, Disciplinary Report, etc.)

    [b]Note Contents:[/b] (Explain behaviour observations, patient actions, procedures, medication changes, disciplinary actions, medical reports, etc. here)

    [b]Note Author:[/b] (Your character name here.)

    [b]Other:[/b] (Optional extra notes here.)