The Prettier the Flower... (Open)

Mariah had been on Green Ridge for almost two weeks, and that whole time she hadn't left the grounds of St. Christina's. She had explored every nook and cranny of the grounds, visited the rec room and the game courts, even summoned up the courage to walk down the halls of Ward B (but not Ward A, not yet). She had even stood outside of the Robertson Home for Boys for a moment or two, dithering on whether or not she should risk going in to find Roscoe or Marcos or if she should just stay outside and wait. In the end she had chickened out and done neither, retreating across the pathway to Bennett and lurked in the bushes outside of it for a while, watching warily. No one she knew had come out, and she had run inside rather quickly.

But in all those two weeks, she had never exercised her hard-won privileges. The administration had trusted her enough to allow her to go out into the town, and she hadn't yet. That day, however, she had made a resolution that she would go. Over lunch, she had looked around, wondering if she could find Nell or Roscoe or even Hazel--anyone she knew--who would go onto the island with her, but she didn't see anyone and she was nervous about going up to someone she didn't know. So, swallowing even more butterflies in her stomach, she had decided bravely to go out alone.

She walked up a street called St. Christina's Way, past a few small houses--she thought she recognized one of the girls at one of the houses she passed, but dismissed that as impossible because surely a Hadley patient, the only girls she would have known, wouldn't be living off of the site--and past a building labeled GREEN RIDGE SECURITY DEPARTMENT. It relieved her that the building was where it was--it could provide a barrier between St. Christina's and Green Ridge, and therefore protect the town from the more violent patients...and the patients from the more violent residents. She had read a newspaper article talking about a murder on the island only a few days before, and it gave her the shakes and made her extremely nervous about this walk. What if she did meet a murderer? Would he hurt her, or would he dismiss her as not worth his trouble? Or hers. Couldn't discount that the murderer might be a woman. For a minute Mariah thought of Niamh...but then she dismissed the thought almost as quickly, ashamed of herself. No. Scary as she could be, she would never actually kill anybody.

Would she?

Mariah passed a hardware store on one side and a hospital--a medical one--on the other, then all of a sudden she was passing shops all on one side. She had finally reached the downtown area. For a while she wandered happily around the area, looking in windows, smiling at the people she passed, and generally enjoying herself. It was a while before she realized she had come to the end of the downtown area, and was heading off down a long, winding road to who knows where.

She hesitated. Did she really want to go down there? Did she have time? Looking at her watch, Mariah realized that it was only three o'clock, and she didn't have to be back until eight. So if she walked until, say...five-fifteen, she could walk straight back in the same amount of time and still have time to get across the downtown area and back to St. Christina's before curfew. Thus resolved, she set off down the winding road ahead of her. She had been walking for nearly an hour and was starting to wonder if the road led anywhere when she came, quite suddenly, upon a forest. Did she dare go in there? All sorts of things could lurk in the woods...lions and tigers and bears and wolves and...

She shook her head impatiently. She was being silly, of course. This was a small island, and the administration at St. Christina's wouldn't have let the students wander the island if there were dangerous animals in the woods. Would they? She shook her head again. Of course not! Dr. Wynn and Dr. Bjorgen would do everything in their power to keep the students safe. They cared. Feeling more cheerful, she walked into the woods.

Mariah hummed cheerily to herself as she walked down the dirt trail through the woods. She stopped every couple of yards to pick up something that caught her fancy: a shiny pebble, an acorn, a pretty leaf. She saw a flower not too far into the woods, bright red and inviting. Without a second thought--she was a country girl, after all, she knew what poison ivy and poison oak and all that looked like--she stepped off the path and picked the flower. A few feet beyond, she saw another, and then another. She never thought about what she was doing--only that she was sure Nell would love to see these flowers, and how much they would brighten up the room. Still humming, she ventured into the woods, picking flowers as she went.

It was only after she had a sizeable bouquet in her hands that she looked at her watch. It was almost five o'clock! Well...while she could have stayed a little longer, she didn't want her bouquet to die. She turned and began heading back. After a few minutes, she paused and looked around. No...this didn't look right. She altered her course and hurried on through the woods.

Her watch indicated it was 5:15 before Mariah stopped, clutching her multicolored bouquet and looking around her anxiously. She hadn't seen any of these trees before...or had she? She wished she had thought to mark her path, or drop acorns more strategically, or something. In despair, she had to admit the truth. She was completely lost.

Beginning to panic a little, she spun around on the spot, looking up at the sky, squinting anxiously for the sun. It looked like it was coming from over there...so that was west, 'cause it was after noon...and she remembered that she had stepped off of the path going left...and the path sort of ran north, northwest...so that meant that she needed to head into the sun at sort of an angle. She began heading in the direction she had chosen, unconsciously picking up the pace until she was going at almost a headlong run, even though she knew the dangers, even though she knew it was a stupid idea to run in unfamiliar woods, just wanting to get back to the path as soon as she could.

In her haste and panic, she forgot to watch where she was going. Her foot caught on a tree root and she fell headlong onto the forest floor, scraping her arm on a tree and skinning her knee on another root. At that point, she couldn't take it anymore. Managing to haul herself into a sitting position with her back against another tree, she hugged her injured knee, buried her face in it, and began to cry.

"I w-want to go h-home..."

Hazel had been exploring Green Ridge a lot more lately. If she stayed in one spot too long she always seemed to run into people, but while she was walking no one bothered her. No one had stopped the girl who looked as if she was headed to a specific destination. So Hazel had kept walking, seeing new sites, but not meeting new people. Sometimes her walks were really fun too and she could see beautiful places like the lighthouse. Although, she would have to remind herself to write about these places later in her journal.

Today she had decided to look around the woods. After all her entire life had been spent barricaded in her room or hidden in the very back of a classroom. Hazel had never been an outdoorsy person before. She had never realized how big outside could be. She wasn’t scared of nature (only people) and nature could be really beautiful. Hazel stayed close to the path, but would take little excursions out in different directions. What was the point of exploring if all you did was stay on the path with the other people? Maybe she would learn to like something at St. Christina.
Unexpectedly, she heard running and then a crash. Normally Hazel would turn right around and walk in a different direction if she heard another human around, but then she heard the soft crying.

"I w-want to go h-home..."

What if a kid or someone was lost or scared? (after all they were crying) Hazel couldn’t just abandon them, not like her parents had abandoned her all the time. She moved around a few trees and saw the girl sitting against a tree. It was her roommate Mariah. ‘Will Mariah hate me for finding her in such a vulnerable situation?’ Hazel tried to push the thought out of her head. ‘When you are helping someone you shouldn’t be worrying about yourself,’ she scolded.

Hazel bent down so she was next to Mariah. She wanted to say something, to ask what was wrong, but if felt as if her voice was gone. The fear of Mariah hating her for seeing Mariah cry was holding her back. After all crying was a sign a weakness, (Hazel had learned that long ago from the school bullies) so no one should see you cry, but what if Mariah truly needed help. Hazel reached out tentatively to put a hand on Mariah’s shoulder. Moving was at least easier than talking.

Mariah hadn't felt so alone and scared since the day she had testified in her father's trial. Dr. Blaine hadn't been in the room because she was supposed to testify later, her father had been locked behind a wooden table, she hadn't been able to see her mother...all around her were unfamiliar and threatening faces, and right in front of her had been the menacing face of the prosecutor demanding to know how her father had hurt her (which she hadn't believed at the time), the defense attorney being nice to her while he was talking but just letting the prosecutor upset her, the judge towering over her and frowning every time she said something, obviously agreeing with the prosecutor that her father was evil even though she didn't think so...

But since she had come to Hadley, she hadn't felt alone. Scared, yes, especially when she had been rooming with Niamh. But alone? Never. Even then, she had known that Nell was there, and Dr. Wynn, and that was when she had met Roscoe. All three of them had been there for her, had shown her they cared for her. She knew they had her back. And if any one of them had been in the woods with her, she would have been fine. If she had even had tangible evidence of them she would have been okay. But she had nothing. She had even forgotten Celeste in her hurry to get out of the gates right when she was allowed to, half-afraid that if she hadn't gone right away she would have lost her nerve. And as long as she had been in the downtown area, she had been fine. She'd even been okay at first in the woods. It was only when she had realized she was lost that she began to panic.

Now that she was scared and crying, everything seemed menacing. The bright flowers she had gathered into a bouquet were scattered around her feet like corpses, the blossoms red as blood. The leafy trees that had seemed so friendly when she first ventured into them loomed over her like ogres. The grass seemed to have disappeared to be replaced with short, sparse, scrubby spears of old, dying weeds. The sunlight was fading as though the sun was setting (even though she knew, logically, that it wasn't). Even the dirt seemed different--drier, sharper, harder. It seemed to suck up her tears that splashed into it and dry up again almost instantly. Her knee hurt, and her arm hurt, and she just wanted to be safe at St. Christina's with Nell telling her everything would be okay.

She never heard Hazel approach, never looked up and saw her, never knew she was there until she reached out and put her hand on Mariah's shoulder. Unfortunately, Mariah was lost, scared, and had just remembered about the murderer. She knew the body had been found in downtown Green Ridge, but they never said the woman had been killed there. So when she felt the hand on her shoulder, her first thought was not that someone was there to help her--but rather, that someone was there to hurt her, and that she was going to be killed.

Mariah let out a bloodcurdling scream of fear. She scrambled backwards frantically until she backed against a tree and could go no further, throwing her arms up in front of her face. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and turned away. She still hadn't looked at the person who had come upon her, and she had no intention of doing so. Not as long as she thought they might hurt her. It was her only chance. She began speaking in a very high-pitched, fast, panicked voice. "Don't hurt me please don't hurt me I'm lost I didn't see your face honest I won't tell anyone who you are I don't know who you are I haven't seen anything about you I won't tell anyone you're here just let me go please I'm a patient at St. Christina's they'll get very upset if you hurt me please let me go pleasepleaseplease!"

She scrunched herself into as small a ball as she could, arms still thrown up protectively, shaking and crying silently. Please, God, let me get out of this alive...

As Mariah bolted back Hazel fell over onto her backside. Mariah seemed to physically jump out of her skin to get away from Hazel. ‘Am I truly that repulsive?’ Hazel thought to herself before she noticed the girl’s terror and the words she was screaming. Mariah was like a wild animal cornered and scared out of her wits. Surely Hazel couldn’t have caused that reaction could she?

"Don't hurt me please don't hurt me I'm lost I didn't see your face honest I won't tell anyone who you are I don't know who you are I haven't seen anything about you I won't tell anyone you're here just let me go please I'm a patient at St. Christina's they'll get very upset if you hurt me please let me go pleasepleaseplease!"

Hazel had read the article about the murder in the paper, but murders happened all the time when you lived in-between Newark and New York. The thought that Mariah was scared of the unknown murderer never entered Hazel’s mind. Instead she wondered ‘Why is Mariah scared? Let her go? Does she think I will kill her or something?’ Hazel was completely at a loss for what to do. If Hazel was truly the root of their girl’s fear then anything she said would just make the girl panic. But … maybe if something else was the cause Hazel could talk her down. Either way she definitely wouldn’t touch Mariah again. She didn’t want to send her off screaming getting more lost then she already was.

Hazel truly felt torn, she didn’t have enough confidence to believe she could help Mariah, but she would never just leave her here alone even if Mariah thought Hazel would hurt her. Hazel decided to just say what she was thinking and suffer the consequences later. She looked down at her feet as she sat up a little. A look of defeat came across her face as if she had just lost the battle of friendship. Best case scenario Mariah would ask the Bjogen doctor to switch her room. Worst case, Nell would beat Hazel up for upsetting Mariah and tell others to hate and ridicule her.

Taking a deep breath Hazel said softly “Mariah …” then a little louder so she was sure the girl heard her over her own panic “Mariah … It’s … It’s Hazel. I’ll leave if you want, but … the way out is that way.” She pointed past two intertwined trees.

"Mariah..."

The person knew her name. Mariah almost stopped breathing on the spot. The murderer knew her name...which meant he either worked for GR Biotech, or he went to St. Christina's. Which meant they knew her. Which meant it was someone she knew...which meant that even if she didn't look she was dead. Because the murderer must surely think she could identify him by the sound of his voice or the gait of his walk or something, and he would surely kill her before she could turn him in to security. She was filling her lungs for a second, louder scream when the person spoke again.

"Mariah … It’s … It’s Hazel. I’ll leave if you want, but … the way out is that way."

She lowered her arms and peeked out, brown eyes round and wet with tears. "H-Hazel?" she practically whispered. Sure enough, there was the pretty dark-haired girl who shared her room. She was kneeling in front of Mariah, studying her carefully. And she was a C-ward patient...she couldn't be the murderer. Mariah's feeling was one of extreme relief.

"Hazel, thank g-goodness!" she blurted. Without further warning, she lunged forward to throw her arms around the other girl. Tears started pouring down her face again as she sobbed out, "I was w-walking around in the w-woods and I got l-lost...and it's g-getting d-dark...I'm so s-sorry I s-screamed, I th-thought you were the m-murderer and that y-you were g-going to k-kill me. I was r-really s-scared. Thank g-goodness you were h-here."

Mariah was a gentle, trusting soul, unless given reason to think otherwise. She felt instantly safer with Hazel there. Hazel wouldn't let anything happen to her. They were friends.

Hazel went stiff when Mariah threw herself onto the unsuspecting girl. The introverted brunette didn’t mean to, but tensing up was an involuntary reaction. Hazel wasn’t used to physical contact and she didn’t know if she was doing something wrong or weird by letting Mariah hug her. To be honest it was the first hug that Hazel could remember receiving.

A moment later Hazel forgot about herself as Mariah started to cry on her shoulder. She could only half understand Mariah’s weeping explanation, but she could tell that the girl was scared out of her wits and was probably running on adrenaline. The sobs racked through Mariah’s body as Hazel felt the girl clinging to her for life. Mariah’s tears began to soak into Hazel’s dark brown t-shirt as she hesitatingly lifted a hand. Gently patting the frightened girl’s back she hoped the small gesture would comfort and calm Mariah. This seemed like a good first step as any. Hazel wasn’t used to seeing people distressed and she didn’t like it one bit.

The teen was in a pretty uncomfortable position from falling over and nearly being tackled again. Hazel felt an unfamiliar warmth from Mariah's hug, but the roots and twigs on the ground were biting into her legs. A breeze shuffled around the two girls making Hazel shiver a little. Mariah was right and it was getting darker and colder outside too. Hazel wasn’t used to being in a needed type of role, but her uncertainty was quickly outmatched by her necessity to help Mariah. Hazel knew the pain of being abandoned and left alone when you looked-for help and she refused to do that to another person. Even if Mariah truly thought Hazel was a murderer, she wouldn’t leave Mariah like this in the woods. Maybe she would have tried to scare her back to the path. Whatever she would have done the situation was completely different now and she was unsure how to get the crying girl up and moving back to their distant dorm room.

Suddenly a thought popped into her head. Hazel spoke in her best Big Sister voice, however she was still a little tentative, “Nell might get worried … you should get back to Bennett’s Home.” She had decided to use Nell, because she knew Mariah had an unquestioning friendship with her. If she had chosen anything else like curfew or the darkening sky to get Mariah moving, the teenager might have become more terrified than she already was. In a small way Hazel was also grateful that Mariah was looking away and crying. This way Mariah’s blurry vision wouldn’t see Hazel’s awkwardness or how little confidence she held in herself even as she was determined to get Mariah home.

It never crossed Mariah's mind that she might be making Hazel uncomfortable. Having grown up in a household that not only encouraged affection, but distributed it with ease--some might say too easily--she was used to expressing herself through hugs, words of endearment, the occasional friendly or familial kiss. She may have tried to restrain herself better, but her nerves were strained to the breaking point. The young teenager was reduced to a crazed, terrified child, and to small children, there is safety only in a hug. She reassured herself that she was safe through physical contact with Hazel.

As Hazel patted her back, Mariah's sobs of fear gradually subsided into little hiccups. The small gesture was not only comforting--it was familiar. The only time anyone had ever comforted her like this when she had cried had been Dr. Blaine, before ever coming to Hadley. It wasn't the way her father had comforted her when she cried, which had once helped but had become twisted and perverted in her mind over the last year. She could feel the tension and fright slowly draining away. Hazel was here. Everything would be okay.

“Nell might get worried … you should get back to Bennett’s Home.”

At this, Mariah took a deep breath to calm herself down and nodded, letting go of Hazel and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Okay," she said softly, her voice still a little shaky but definitely less panicked. "You're right. I was trying to get back before I got lost, and I don't want to be out after curfew..." She paused, then turned her eyes up to Hazel's. "You're coming too, right? I mean, it's g-getting dark and..."

She took another deep breath, then said in a small voice, "I don't think I want to walk home by myself."

She'd never wanted to be on her own in the first place. She was shy and fairly introverted, but she was also nervous and afraid of being alone in public, for fear that she might have to meet strangers. Having grown up on the ranch in Montana, she'd often been alone but rarely had to worry about meeting strangers. Hobson was a small town and everybody knew everybody, and it sure wasn't a tourist town. So if Mariah was riding her horse along the pasture fences, if she bumped into people, they were first of all on the other side of the fence and second of all probably someone she knew. If she didn't know them, they were usually with somebody she did. Strangers didn't just wander around the area--and they didn't stay strangers for long. Here, small town or not, she didn't know everybody and it seemed like the sort of place where people had secrets. She didn't want to be walking through it without someone she knew--especially not when night was coming on.

"You're coming too, right? I mean, it's g-getting dark and..."

She took another deep breath, then said in a small voice, "I don't think I want to walk home by myself."

As Mariah said those words Hazel wanted to comfort the girl with affection and hugs, but she wasn’t sure what was publically acceptable and what was downright weird. Unlike Mariah’s family she had never been shown affection as a child, just callous indifference. Hazel never mentioned it aloud (out of fear of disapproval), but she would never leave Mariah alone when she was scared or hurt.

Hazel tried to sooth the frightened girl the best way she could. Looking up she said “At night the stars see you. Trees and flowers are alive too.” Maybe the teen’s words didn’t make sense, but she was trying to tell Mariah in her own way that the world always surrounded her and she was never truly alone. Even in the darkest nights, there were thousands of stars to light her way with trees and flowers to give her beauty and comfort so there was nothing to be scared of. Yet, even Hazel knew that the trees and stars were different than people. They were nonjudgmental and never said bad things, but they were also things that couldn’t show love or warmth. In the end, Hazel wasn’t sure if her words were true, but Hazel found that if you pretend something is factual it’s easier to believe.

Hazel didn’t have a watch, but she could feel that it was starting to get really late. The quiet teenager began to get up, but that’s when she noticed Mariah’s flowers fallen on the ground. It was a little hard to see them, but she figured they must be Mariah’s why else would there be randomly picked flowers strewn about here? Kneeling in the dirt, Hazel gathered them back into a bunch. Standing up, the awkward girl held out the small bouquet for Mariah. It was missing a few flowers that seemed to have scattered to the wind, but she hoped the bunch would help the girl be brave.

“See the flowers are around you and … we just have to go this way.” Hazel whispered taking a step toward the trees she assumed lead back towards the path. Then realizing something she should have asked the moment she saw Mariah Hazel blurted out “Are you hurt?” hoping the girl wasn’t physically injured. ‘Why am I so stupid’ Hazel scolded herself ‘Why didn’t I check to see if she was hurt before I tried to get her moving?’

Hazel's words flowed over Mariah like gentle music. She found herself relaxing step by step as she listened to the dark-haired girl tell her that the stars and trees were watching and would protect her. She followed Hazel's gaze upwards and looked at the thousands upon thousands of lights twinkling, shining, pulsing, or merely glowing over her head. Her mouth opened in awe. "Wow," she said softly. "I never realized how many there were." She turned away from the sky to look up at her friend. "Hazel, what are the stars? My mother said they were departed souls and my daddy told me they were hopes and dreams. What do you think?"

She was startled when Hazel bent down, and even more surprised when she handed her the bouquet of flowers she had dropped in her fear. "Thank you!" she said, smiling again. Her fright was beginning to dissolve--at least so long as Hazel stayed with her. If she had to be alone she might return to a quivering wreck, but the presence of her friend made her feel safer. And the flowers helped, returned her to the sense of innocence and normality she had felt walking through the woods earlier that evening.

"Are you hurt?"

Mariah shook her head. Her knee still throbbed slightly and her arm was a little sore, but it was nothing she couldn't handle. "I'm all right. I skinned my knee a little when I fell, but it's okay." She smiled trustingly up at Hazel. "I'm okay now that you're here."

She reached out with her free hand to take hold of Hazel's, partly so she wouldn't get lost again and partly because the contact gave her an added feeling of security. If she held on to Hazel, then truly nothing could hurt her, because it would have to go through both of them. Together they were a match for anything. Or so Mariah believed.

Hazel was in a confusing position. She was glad Mariah wasn’t hurt and expected they would start walking home soon. She really wasn’t a natural born leader. Since birth she only had to look after herself. She held so much pain from her childhood neglect that Hazel was always conflicted on whether to trust people or not. Usually Hazel took the easy road and avoided people every day, but then Mariah needed help. Also due to her childhood Hazel couldn’t wouldn’t desert anyone who was helpless

Right now in the woods Mariah took her hand. Outwardly Hazel didn’t change and showed no reaction. Holding hands meant that Hazel couldn’t leave Mariah behind, because they were connected. This connection inwardly began breaking down Hazel’s wall bit by bit. Usually any other normal person would have taken Mariah’s hand and thought nothing of becoming friends with the innocent flower collector. However Hazel knew her wall was crumbling, she started to trust the girl and that scared the hell out of her, more than anything else. As long as Hazel’s wall of indifference stood, she could isolate herself and be safe from ridicule, but if she trusted people then she was vulnerable to be hurt like before.

Her confusion and contradicting feelings showed in her actions. Their connection was purely held in Mariah’s grasp. Hazel began moving towards what she hoped was the path. She moved carefully so that the gentle touch wouldn’t break unless Mariah took her hand away, yet Hazel never clutched her hand closed, frightened of committing to the friendship.

As the two girls brushed past the cooling leaves and carefully picked through tree roots, Hazel thought of Mariah’s question. (It was much better than diving into her own mind, so Hazel tried to focus on the stars). “Stars. Science says they are gas Suns millions of miles away. … But History has many stories about what the stars mean or who the stars are like people and animals.” Finally giving something a personal touch Hazel added “I think stars are gas, but maybe they have souls too. I mean plants are alive even though they can’t talk why not stars? … Did you know the north star is the star that will always show you the way home. Looking up Hazel pointed toward a random star. “Maybe that’s the north star after all it looks like it is above St. Christina. Plus if the north star leads so many people home it has to feel and like us humans right?”

Thinking and talking kept her fear away. Hazel still wondered though, what Mariah was thinking?

It never occurred to Mariah that Hazel wasn't a lot older than she was. She trusted the girl to the extent that she did Nell, looked up to and respected her, felt like the other girl was her big sister. She never would have guessed that the girls were the same age--in fact, she was older by nearly six months. At least, that was the case chronologically. Emotionally, Mariah was definitely much younger. In a physical sense, Mariah may have been older, but she was a child compared with Hazel, maturity-wise.

Right now, she was confident in her personal conviction that Hazel could protect her. She felt safe and secure, as long as she held on to her friend's hand. For the first time since she had realized she was lost in the woods, she was able to relax, even to smile a little. She was calmer, her fear gradually subsiding as, step by step, she began to emerge from the woods. Hazel's gentle, soothing voice helped with that as well. She clung to the words like a drowning girl clinging to a log.

"Is it possible that stars and plants can talk, and we just don't understand them?" she asked Hazel, as seriously as though they were discussing a question on a biology assignment. "I mean, animals communicate in a way we can't understand. It would make sense if plants can communicate, too. Have you ever read The BFG? The giant in the book has really sensitive ears, and he can hear flowers crying in pain or trees whispering or even the sounds of dreams." A small smile flickered across her face. "I know it's just a made-up book, but it could still be true--couldn't it?"

She smiled as she looked at the star Hazel had pointed out. "'Follow the drinking-gourd'--isn't that about the North Star?" she asked. "You're right. The North Star must want to help us get home. It's like it's looking out for us, no matter where we are or what we're doing."

Mariah fell quiet for a moment, picking her way with Hazel over exposed tree roots and ducking clusters of leaves she could no longer see clearly enough to recognize as poison oak or mistletoe. Finally, she looked up at Hazel. "You know what I think? I think that the stars are windows from heaven, for people who have died to look at their family and friends back on earth and watch over them." She tilted her head to the sky for a moment, then pointed. "I think that one's my grandma. It's warm and friendly and glowing gently, and that's just like Grandma was. I don't think my other grandparents are up there, though. They weren't exactly very nice..."

As Mariah seemed to calm down bit by bit, Hazel was also changing. Hazel was like a Caramello Bar. Outside was the tough chocolate that could be hard to breakthrough, but inside was a soft caramelly goodness. Every time someone saw her caramel softness and used it Hazel retreated reinforcing her chocolate shell creating a thicker and harder to break shield. As the two girls conversed back and forth Hazel was starting to show Mariah her caramel insides. At least for the moment, Hazel’s nerves were calming as well.

Hazel nodded, “Yep the North star is at the top of the drinking gourd, the little dipper. … I think.” “Mariah,” she whispered, “I think you right … about plants too. Most humans can’t believe what they can’t see, but just because humans can’t see it, doesn’t mean something isn’t real. After all we can’t hear a dog whistle blowing, but we know it makes noise that’s just too high for humans to hear.” She liked telling Mariah her view of the world, because Mariah seemed to believe in Hazel.

“Not all people can become stars either,” Hazel stated in a quiet, but matter of fact voice. “In the stories only great people and heroes become stars. So I’m sure your good grandma became a star to watch over you and your future. When her stars dies out she could become something bigger and better. But bad people, they can’t become stars. Instead they have to become some lower form until they get better, like ghosts or demons.”

The explanation Hazel gave Mariah was her own concept of reincarnation. Of course Hazel didn’t really know if reincarnation existed. She had never been brought up religiously so she wasn’t certain about anything she couldn’t see (although she didn’t dismiss things just because they were invisible to her) like heaven or hell. However, Hazel hoped that reincarnation was real. If people could be born into different things, it meant that Hazel would never truly die (something that scared her … maybe more than people) and it meant that maybe she would have friends in her next life. ‘Maybe I could even be a dog and have a loving family who play with me and spend time with her every day. Or maybe a rabbit with hundreds of children that love me, but not a giraffe they abandon their babies if they can’t keep up.’ With these thoughts going through her mind Hazel nearly fell over and she stumbled out of the dense forest and onto one of the cleared walking paths.

Mariah kept her eyes on Hazel rather than on the woods before her. It was less that she was afraid of what she might see--or not see--and more that she knew she could trust Hazel. Looking at Hazel was looking at safety, at something she could count on. Her physical appearance, the contact as they held hands, the sound of her voice...all these things combined to relax Mariah. Whereas before she had been thinking about Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood, and Hansel and Gretel, she now was thinking about Marlaguette, Sleeping Beauty, and the baker and his wife from Into the Woods. The forest wasn't scary--it was her protector, her salvation. Or maybe it was just that she had a goal at the end of it.

She nodded at Hazel's words. "That makes sense. And isn't it possible that some people can hear plants? I mean, little kids talk to trees and plants and stuff all the time, and no one thinks they're crazy, they think they're just playing. But what if they can hear what the plants are saying? After all, there's that 'bumblebee' ringtone thing that adults aren't supposed to be able to hear. Maybe we just lose our ability to hear plants as we get older." She went quiet for a moment, thinking, then added, "And maybe some people don't. Didn't one of the Kings of England talk to trees? People thought he was crazy, but maybe he wasn't. Maybe he just had better hearing than most people do." This was the kind of conversation Mariah loved to have, but didn't get to often. Her father had never been interested in this sort of thing, and most of her friends in school had thought she was just being goofy. It was nice to talk to someone who understood--someone who believed her.

As Hazel spoke about what people became after death, Mariah listened in wide-eyed amazement. She'd never thought of it like that before. "Do you think..." she said hesitantly. "Do you think that if someone isn't good enough to be a star, or doesn't have anything to watch out for, but isn't bad enough to be a ghost or a demon, they come back as something else--like a dog or a bird or a flower? 'Cause ghosts and demons can't die--at least I don't think they can--so if you were bad enough to become one of those, that's what you'll be forever. But if you never did enough harm or enough good to make a difference, maybe you get a chance to try again." She looked down at the flowers in her hand. "Maybe that's why people pick flowers, or adopt animals--because they recognize the soul in it from somewhere."

Had she heard the word, Mariah would probably have described herself as agnostic--she knew there was something out there, but she didn't know what. Talking with Hazel about their beliefs was really helping her to sort out her own feelings. Anyway, she thought as she moved through the forest, I don't have to be afraid anymore. I know Hazel and Nell and Roscoe and everyone else will still be with me, no matter what happens.

As she thought, they emerged from the woods onto one of the cleared paths. Mariah noticed a rock on the opposite side of the path, a smooth lump of granite with glittering flecks of quartz in it. Her face lit up in a smile at the sight of it. "I recognize that rock--I know where we are now! This is a little before I went off the path." They must have traveled in a big semicircle, she mused. It didn't matter. "It was on my left when I came up, so..." She turned, putting the rock on the right, and gestured with the hand clutching her bouquet of flowers. "That's the way we want to go--right?" she added, checking with Hazel. She could see the North Star glittering in the distance, but she just wanted to double-check. She wasn't getting lost again if she could help it.

Hazel had no idea what a bumble bee ringtone was, but she could go along with the fact that kids might hear and know things that adults didn’t. Kids seemed to be completely innocent. At least before they started school, kids always seem to know what the right answer is. ‘It’s almost like they sense the difference between good and bad and we lose that ability when we grow up and things turn grey. We lose our innocence and our senses dull, so why can’t kids have other abilities too? Wouldn’t it be amazing if fairies and imaginary friends really existed too? Maybe … maybe children are … kinda magical.’ Finishing her inner monologue Hazel heard Mariah continuing her own thoughts. She shrugged unsure how to answer the questions about Adults. She didn’t know about the King of England, but she hoped he was kind of like Peter Pan. He just never really grew up so he kept his power to talk to trees.

In fact Mariah seemed like to fit right into Hazel’s musing. If she remembered correctly Mariah keep a stuffed toy close by too. She was like Peter Pan, who held a childlike innocence about her that Hazel wanted to protect (even if Hazel had known their age difference). If Hazel had a more aggressive personality, she would have been jealous of Mariah for the incorruptibility she seemed to possess. At the moment Hazel had a longing for the lost feeling, but wanted to ensure that Mariah keep her rare virtue. Had Hazel been a boy, she might have become prince charming.

Even when the girls were talking about death, Mariah seemed to hold a childlike fascination. “I hope people can be reborn as other things like you’re working out the kinks in your soul. … In Hinduism ... maybe Buddhism (Hazel couldn't remember which one) even Gods can die,” which made sense to Hazel. After all there were good and bad gods, so if you were a bad god you could die and be reborn as something worse. “Plus ghosts and demons in kinda like punishment. So they don’t die, but when their time … penance … is up they are reborn.” ‘So hopefully, even if you make the worst mistake of your life you can atone for it.’ This last sentence Hazel kept to herself. She didn’t believe that either girl had committed enough sins to become a demon, but you never knew what the future might hold. At least this way there was a way to become a good person again … eventually.

"Maybe that's why people pick flowers, or adopt animals--because they recognize the soul in it from somewhere."[/i

Hazel was surprised and … amazed by the warm feeling that this sentence gave her. Although a dark thought crept in among the peace. ‘But then why can’t humans recognize souls in other humans?’ She would never ask Mariah that question … or probably anyone else, but it propped at her mind even as she tried to ignore it.
[i]
"That's the way we want to go--right?"

Distracted with her thoughts Hazel went along with Mariah’s conclusion. “Yeah … sure let’s go.” Mariah seemed to be in much better spirits and in order to keep the mood up Hazel tried to think of something to say. “What … what do you think the stars would say about our adventure?”

Hazel didn't seem to be much of a talker, but that was okay--Mariah really wasn't either. She had come out of her shell a little bit since arriving at Hadley and meeting Nell, but she was still a very private person. Most of the talking she had done since Hazel had rescued her had been out of nervousness, but it had also been because she trusted her friend with her innermost thoughts. She really did believe in magic, in fairies and elves and ghosts, and she saw no reason why flowers and plants couldn't have souls and language.

Without knowing what Hazel was thinking, her thoughts were unconsciously traveling along the same lines. She had read Peter Pan as a small girl and had stayed up late for a couple of weeks after that, hoping to see Peter Pan coming to visit her and take her to Never-Never Land. She dreamed sometimes that she was descended from Wendy, and that she would get to go for a few weeks every spring to do the cleaning. Secretly, she still watched out her window at night for him to show up. There had been a while she had been convinced that the reason he wasn't showing up was because her father was always in her room after dark. Now she wondered if it might be the dormitory setting. But Hazel believed...Nell probably did, too...and Sophie, maybe. It was the perfect place for Peter Pan to come to in the night, and take her away to Never-Never Land.

She listened carefully to Hazel's explanation. So...gods could die? She remembered hearing her father reading aloud from a fantasy book to her brother one night (she'd subsequently "borrowed" the books and hadn't got around to reading them yet, but they were currently on her nightstand to be read soon). Softly, she repeated one of the lines that had stayed in her memory for years. "How is it that immortals die, Hazel?"

As they traveled down the path back to St. Christina's, she pondered Hazel's question about what the stars would have said about the adventure. "I don't know," she said finally. "I think it would depend on the stars. Like...I think my grandmother's star would have said something like, 'See, Mariah, I told you not to stray from the path.'" She accurately mimicked her grandmother's voice. "But I think some of the other stars might say that they showed you where to go to find me, so they didn't have to get me out themselves." Raising her big brown eyes to Hazel's, she smiled trustingly. "Thank you so much for finding me," she said softly. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't."

(OOC sorry about the wait)

The question took her by surprise. Well if immortals die they really aren’t immortals in the first place … right? With that in mind Hazel tried to answer Mariah’s question with a half-decent response. “They’re not immortals. They just live a lot longer than humans.” She guessed that fit in with the stars too. They lived for hundreds to millions of years, but they weren’t immortals, because they died eventually. Would Hazel want a long life like a star or god? She wasn’t sure. After all this life sucked, but dying … the unknown could be even more frightening. At least she knew the bullies would be hurtful everyday, but the afterlife held no such reassurance about anything.

As their conversation continued Hazel saw the trees become thinner and thinner. Each step seemed to shrink the nature surrounding their bodies and Hazel took this as a sign that the two girls were heading out of the woods. If they were lucky they could make it back to Saint Christina without anything to worry about. There was one good thing about being stuck in the woods though, well besides possibly having a new friend. Here Hazel and Mariah could see the stars. There were too many lights on in most cities and even at Saint Christina it could be impossible to get a good view because of the buildings and the lights. Yet, in the woods it was impossible not to see the shinning balls of gas and it was much easier to imagine them speaking to each other or even to Mariah. It would be fun if they truly had led her to her roommate when she was needed. Maybe the stars were trying to make the girls become good friends.

No matter how much Hazel wished all of these things were true she knew real life wasn’t a fairy tale. Life could be and usually seemed to be mean and cruel. Hazel knew she failed when it came to protecting herself against people, but maybe she could protect others, like Mariah. Maybe that would be ok. She almost giggles as Mariah mimicked her grandmother, because for a second Hazel could believe the 14 year old was a 100 year old biddy.

Raising her big brown eyes to Hazel's, she smiled trustingly. "Thank you so much for finding me," she said softly. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't."

Feeling uncomfortable with staring into Mariah’s eyes Hazel quickly turned away. Blushing quickly followed the compliment and she was glad the night might be hiding the red in her face and scared eyes. She was still wearing her heart on her sleeve and even with a gentle girl like Mariah, Hazel hated being exposed. She hoped she could turn the topic away and just blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. “You would have gotten home. Your grandma would have helped you.” Hazel didn’t know if any of that was true, but maybe it would make Mariah happy anyway. So what did it matter if she was lying about celestial gases.