Penny's Mail

Dear Penny,

Okay, so you're on an island which is also a mental institution. What does that sound like, huh? A horror movie! You're totes going to die! You're all up in fucking Shutter Island! YOU ARE RACHEL!!! YOU WERE RACHEL ALL ALONG, PENNY!!! Okay, so I only read half of Shutter Island. But still. That's some fucked shizz.

I totes miss you. I don't even know what to do with myself...today I just ate icecream and wrote poems all day. Dude, you always reminded me to go to work! And now I have an excess of hairspray and matches because I keep buying extras so you could steal them from me! Bitch. Why do you have to go and be crazy? I don't even know what to do with you, you crazy fucking pyro. I love you, though, so I guess I can't strangle you.

So tell me all about Shutter Island. I want to hear about your last days. Is there like a secret underground federation of inmates that fight the man or something? Are there nurses with needles everywhere? Or is it totes boring like every other mental institution? Or is it all classified? I bet it's classified! But I guess people can move to the island...hey! Maybe I'll move to the crazy island with you. But I'll live like with all the normal people and visit you every week. Sorry, bitch. I never want to get locked up again.

So anyway, love you and miss you. Write me a long detailed letter full of awesome. Tell me all about it. I want to know. I do.

Love,

Sheila, your best bitch